Relationships are about two people who have various qualities that attract the other and thus they decide to be miserable and grow together. You’ll likely have a lot in common or sometimes have very little in common, but for whatever reason enjoy their company and personality.
While I won’t reveal the overall details of how my past relationship went (it was actually quite a healthy and good one), my obsession with soccer likely had my former significant other, questioning if soccer was my actual girlfriend and if she was just for sport. Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit, but I know it got on her nerves at times.
Read on as this soccer fan and journalist reveals some real-life scenarios that are unique to my former relationship but ones that you may or may not relate to as well.
3. Is There Such Thing as Too Much Pick-Up Soccer?
My girlfriend and I didn’t live in the same state but we by no means had a “long distance relationship,” it was more of a “two-hour away relationship.” As a result, we often saw each other every other weekend or so. The distance gave us space, which was good, but soccer sometimes came in the way of our precious time.
One Saturday morning, my girlfriend and I likely did something. I can’t remember, but when we saw each other we slept over each other’s houses, so we must’ve done something. Anyway, around 2pm I went to play a pick-up game at a nearby park and told her that I usually play for two hours and that she wouldn’t be waiting for long. I didn’t mean to lie, but let’s just say I was wrong.
Two hours turned into four and when I got home I got the “one-word-answer-treatment.” All men with girlfriends who tell their woman one thing but do another can relate.
Maybe soccer isn’t the source of your girlfriend’s frustration with your irresponsibility as a boyfriend but, hey, we all have our passions and that afternoon the Beautiful Game couldn’t last only two hours.
2. “I’m just going to watch one game.”
When I went over to her place, I fell in love with her tiny quiet town, her room was much bigger than mine, which was awesome, and I found out that one of the three closest pubs was a soccer hangout and restaurant. I was in heaven as soon as I walked in with my Atletico Madrid jersey and saw national team scarfs from all over the world decorated all over their ceiling.
First impressions aside, one Saturday afternoon, (yes, I live in the U.S. where European club football is often watched live between 11 am and 4pm) I told my girlfriend we should go to this soccer/beer-serving heaven and eat lunch. I also told her I wanted to watch Atleti play.
We went and Atleti’s kick-off was at 12pm. We talked, ate, and I got to watch my favorite team. However, I am a journalist and once I get a few pints in me, the prospect of watching more soccer is too hard to pass up. Suddenly, I remembered that Barcelona was set to play Valencia and told her that I kind of wanted to watch that game as well.
She complained, let out a couple of moans and groans here and there but was actually fine with waiting, or so it seemed. As soon as halftime came around I heard her say, “okay, I can’t wait any longer, I’m going to do my nails.” She got up and left, telling me to let her know when the game was over.
It was at that moment I knew I may have had a football addiction. Alone at 2pm and slightly drunk, with your girlfriend leaving a pub you were both happy at an hour ago will make you come to that realization.
1. Mourinho’s Chelsea Problems Became My Problems
Okay, this real-life event is one that only the extreme die-hards may relate to but is by far the most extreme in terms of my devotion to this sport. I’ll keep this as PG-13 as I can but if you’re under 13, this is your warning to stop scrolling (it’s really not that bad). Like I said earlier, we didn’t see each other as frequently as other couples do, so when we did we were often intimate.
One Saturday morning we were in the thick of that said “intimacy” when suddenly what was on the TV was too hard to ignore. Jose Mourinho’s Chelsea was starting their 15/16 title defense in horrible fashion. I don’t know what game it was but it was during that time when Chelsea had only won one game in their first five EPL fixtures and didn’t look like champions.
As I was occupied with our activities, I couldn’t grasp what I was watching, I was watching a piss-poor Chelsea squad that was getting their manager to react in ways that we aren’t used to. No, Mourinho cursing on the sidelines with a look of despair and absolute frustration isn’t something you see often.
What happened next is not a lie. “C’mon! Get it together, you’re the god damn champions, f****ing play like it,” I said, muttering other curses as I remembered that I was in the middle of something.
My girlfriend turned around and said, “are you watching Chelsea!?” I suddenly tried to play it off and refocused my attention to her, but I had hit an all-time low. Mind you, this girl knows nothing about soccer, but yet here she was with a guy that had clearly watched enough for her to identify the EPL champions, something that takes even a little bit of effort to do and he couldn’t even concentrate on her needs at that very moment.
I dare you to say you love football more than I do. I double dare you. If you admit that you don’t, it’s okay, I understand I have a problem. But life’s good, Copa America and Euro 2016 is upon us, why try to fix my problem right now?